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Permission to be tired
- Carolon Donnally
- Mar 15, 2023
- 3 min read
Image Source: Unsplash- Konstantine Trundayev
Several years ago, during a room-cleaning project with my then eight-year-old son Caleb, he sighed and said, 'I'm tired.' Without thinking, I said: 'You can't be tired.'
Something about his admitting it rubbed me the wrong way. And sitting with it now, I understand why: I was never allowed to say those words as a child. They were somehow an admission of weakness. Incompetence. A failure to push through.
What often burns us out is not the work itself. It's our inability to notice what's happening and admit: "I am tired."
What ignoring tiredness actually costs
In my drive to "just get it done," I would ignore the need to eat, step away, or simply rest. I would tell myself: You're almost done. Just a little more to go, and then you can have a break. As if the break had to be earned. As if stopping was proof of something shameful.
Ignoring tiredness often left me spent and unable to muster energy for anything else. Tasks took longer. Quality suffered. And I was harder to be around in the moments that mattered most.
The truth is: admitting you need a break is part of the beautiful experience of being human. The judgment we place on it is what keeps us from taking the actions we actually need.
A framework for giving yourself permission
Notice
Stop and notice what's happening in your body
Notice how much time you've spent on the task — and whether that time was actually productive
Notice your energy level honestly
Permission
Give yourself permission to feel what you feel — without judgment
Give yourself permission to take a break, eat something, go for a walk, or rest
Evaluate
Determine whether you want or need to continue — or whether "good enough to stop" is the right call
Break what still needs to be done into manageable next steps, sized according to your actual energy level
Schedule and return
Set a specific time to return to the task — and keep that promise
Consider what might make returning less dreadful: music, a thought partner, a different environment, or a timer
What this actually builds
The more you give yourself permission to stop and return later, the more energy you'll have when you do return — and the less dread you'll carry toward the work. Rest isn't the reward at the end. It's part of the process.
A question to sit with
Where do you have the most difficulty saying "I'm tired"? And what would change if you started saying it — and meaning it?
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If you struggle to stop even when you know you should — that's one of the patterns we address directly in RESET. You'll examine what stopping means to you, why it's hard, and how to build recovery into your life in a way that actually lasts.
Not tips. Not a list of habits. Real work, alongside real people, that builds lasting change.
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Carolon Donnally, MSOD, PCC
Burnout Resistance Coach · Trainer · Strategic Organization Consultant
Carolon helps high-achieving leaders and mission-driven organizations do great work without burning themselves or others out. She is a former Head of Leadership Coaching at the IRS, holds an MSOD from Pepperdine University, and is an ICF PCC credentialed coach. Her work is grounded in 20+ years of real-world experience — and her own experience on the other side of burnout.
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